I'll be happy when....

I'm always chasing my elusive happiness.

I'll be happy when...
I lose this extra weight.
I have more money.
I have a clean house.
I'm on vacation

Today I want to just be happy.  Stop running after it.  Just be it.

I am happy because...
I got to catch up with a friend.
I have a hot cup of coffee in front of me.
I can hug my kids when they get off the bus.
I will hold my husbands hand when I sleep.

It's a choice, the postponed joy or the one in front of us.

Holding back

My son William, or Will as he now calls himself, has an April birthday.  The current trend of waiting a year to start kids with summer birthdays makes him one of the youngest in his class.  This wouldn't be a big deal, if he wasn't also one of the shortest and slowest readers.  He is surrounded by giants, a full head or more taller than him, who are reading chapter books.

All year my husband and I have debated on having him repeat 1st grade.

 I was fearful of all the social stigmas and emotional drama that may occur.  I don't want him to feel like a failure.   Holding him back would also mean his little sister would be in the same grade.  She is already an excellent reader and doesn't help Will's wavering self confidence.  (And that is why you should never have Irish twins!)

My husband fully believes that another year to grow and mature will help him succeed in school and life.  That he will make new friends and life will carry on.  Obviously my husband is not the emotional one in the family.

The school year is coming to a close.  I knew we (I) had to make a decision, so after one last conversation with my husband and Will, I told the teacher and school we were going to retain him.

Several forms have come home and there will be a team meeting with at least 5 administrators to make the final decision.   The forms do show him to be an excellent candidate for retention...except for the sister. And I feel better knowing that experienced professionals will be a part of the process.

Yet a small (or maybe not so small) part of my hy heart still worries.  Not just about his success in first grade, but the path his entire life will take.  What do these early struggles say about his future?  Can a slow learner become an amazing scholar  or does that even matter in todays world?  

I always thought of myself as an empathetic person,  yet I now realize that I had quite wrong opinions about children who were struggling in school.   I learned easily, on schedule, and I thought anyone could succeed if they tried.  But not everyone can learn at the expected pace or in the standard manner.

Schools are currently set up to teach all kids in one style, regardless of gender or skills.  Our children are grouped by age, rather than abilities, interests, and energy levels.  I think this is a disservice to our children,  not only for those who struggle but also those who need more challenges.

I never thought about any of this until it became personal.   And now that it is, I want so much more for my kids, all our kids and for our educational system.

Just like a New Years

I"m not a big fan of making New Years Resolutions.  I have found that no matter how good my intentions, within a weeks of the new year I start to slip back into my old ways.  Soon all resolutions are forgotten.  Well, not exactly forgotten, as they still linger in the back of my mind, making me feel guilty.

Blogging is much the same.  I started with such gusto and passion!  So many ideas and things to write about.

But then the weather got warm and working in the garden seemed like so much more fun.  I got a cold.  I got cramps.  There was Spring break and the kids were home.  Excuses are so easy!

Being dedicated to any purpose after the initial excitement has worn off is truly challenging!

Brazilian body Wax

Based on the fact that I don't shave for most of the winter, it should come as no surprise that I've never had my body waxed.    Well, I can't quite say never.  There was the one time when I tried to wax at home. I heated the tub in the microwave, rubbed the warmed wax onto my legs with a small spatula, applied the white strips and yanked.  Needless to say the pain and ingrown hairs did not beg for a repeat experience.

I don't know why waxing never became a part of my life.  I grew up by the beach and loved to be in the water.   But at the age of 11 my mother gave me a razor and some simple instructions and that was the end of my hair removal training.

So, with my general lack of waxing knowledge, I was really surprised to recently learn that women get themselves waxed to deliver their babies    They want to be presentable and tidy for the doctors and nurses.  

I can't believe I've been alive for so many years, read so many women's magazines and yet I'm still surprised by all the things women do to be beautiful.  I know all about the hours at the hair salon  and the gym, the diets,  and the endless struggles to be in fashion.  But now there's this too!

What's next, tweezing before an oil change?

Sasquatch Legs

In the winter, I tend to get a little lazy about shaving my legs.  The cold, dry weather makes my legs itch and get really irritated when I shave.  And since I'm in pants day and night, no one sees the hairy mess they become.

But spring is here!  The fans are spinning, the weeds are taking over  and  pollen is covering everything.

So, I must break out the razor once more.  (I think my husband might be happy about this news.)